They say that first impressions are everything. I have two problems with that statement. First, I have no idea who “they” are, but “they” are always saying something. Second, first impressions are often wrong. My first impression of one of my greatest friends was that they were incredibly annoying. My first impression of one of my favorite high school teachers is that they were angry and not someone to mess with. I was wrong on both accounts. Even if I was correct, the thing about people is that people change. A first impression about someone might actually be right at the time, but that doesn’t mean it will be right forever. In my opinion, it’s not the first impression that matters, it’s the last.
The last impression that you leave with someone is far more crucial than any first impression you make. You may give the greatest first impression, something that really sticks in the minds of those you meet. In fact, people may even share the first impression they had of you with others. Your reputation may be built before you ever walk through the door. It doesn’t matter though. First impressions are shattered by the reality of the person you are now, not the person you were when first met. It’s the last impression you make, the one you leave before exiting the stage of another person’s life that stays with them.
I’m sure we’ve all experienced this. We all can think of someone in our lives who was a great friend, a strong mentor, or a beloved family member, who we always looked forward to seeing. That is, until that one word said or that one incident that changed our perception of that person forever. I don’t mean to make it sound like every time we move apart from someone close to us that it is because of some traumatic experience that stains our souls and breaks our hearts. Sometimes the circumstances of life lead us in a new direction and on a path that happens to lead us away from those we were once close to. Either way, for better or for worse, that person is no longer in our lives and we have only that last impression of them to hold onto.
Having been out of high school for almost six years now, I can tell you from experience that those close to me have gone in nearly every direction. Some friends have fallen into what I consider bad crowds and have decided to walk darker paths that I cannot follow. Others have found the joy of an eternal companion and marriage which has meant stepping away from my life and into the life of their significant other. Some high school friends I miss dearly and others I am glad to have split away from. No matter what direction or path they have chosen, they have left a last impression on my mind.
I have often wondered what the last impression I leave with others is. Could it be an impression of sadness as I depart? maybe I would be missed as our lives have taken us in different directions and people would say good things about me in my absence. Or, perhaps people rejoice once I am gone and the last impression I left was one of bitterness. A sharp ending that makes them never wish to see me again. I may never know. Impressions left on others seldom make their way back to the person who left them.
The reason I bring up first impressions is that if anyone decides to read this blog, they may have a bad first impression. I am using this blog to share the overstuffed thoughts that crowd my head. Outwardly, I am a quiet man. I keep my thoughts to myself and try to go with the flow as best I can and make as few ripples as possible. Inside my head, I am a very different man. I have so much going on in there that I needed this extra space to fit it all. Regardless of what first impression you have, if you’ll take this journey with me, you may be surprised at what you find. I might just leave a good last impression. For those of you read this who know me, you may find that these are not the words you would typically hear from little old Zack. These are the words of the man in his mind.
The Man in His Mind 